I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
