So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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