what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
