Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
