i jhust puked up my retainher.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
