would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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