I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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