I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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