Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
