and you said cock pushups were impossible
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
