New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
