yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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