R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You ruined the universe
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
