Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
