Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
