peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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