Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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