He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
