i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
