Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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