btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
