i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
