I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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