I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
