Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
