remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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