your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
