Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't deserve a penis
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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