Welp...herpes.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
