so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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