it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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