We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
