After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
