uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
