she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
