He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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