Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize