how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
