I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
