Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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