so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
