You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
