I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
