My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He felt like a one man threesome
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
