Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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