you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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