i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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