I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You pole danced in your parka.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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