watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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