I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize