I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
