i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
