Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
