There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
