but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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