Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
how drunk are you?
Several
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
