It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
