you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
