Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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