she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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