Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
