in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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