those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
