actually, I'm a sock model
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
