I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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