yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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