Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I DEMAND FORESKIN
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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