fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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