two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
