let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
