imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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