sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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