whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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